Relationship Therapy

  • The 5 most important aspects of any relationship are: self-love, respect, trust, openness, and passion.
  • The 10 most common relationship problems are: arguments, communication, boredom, appreciation, traumas, money, growing apart, infidelity, sex, and children.
  • Negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones hence psychologist refers to this as the negative bias. While this bias may serve us in survival situations, but it can cause distress in everyday life and every relationship.
  • According to relationship researcher John Gottman, for every 1 negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be 5 positive feelings or interactions to outweigh the negative impact.

As a relationship therapist, I integrate the Psychoanalytic view and the Gottman Method, along with my experiences and theories, across countries and cultures, working with families and couples.

The key is to open communications to hear what the other has to say and for each to listen attentively what had been said, and what they represent.  Talking is a life skill which can provide solutions, or on the other spectrum, they can cause extensions to the current problems.  So careful interventions are needed to facilitate and create new openings.

Every relationship is unique but sometimes the issues are similar… evolving from a misunderstanding and/or communication breakdown. This might make one feel that they don’t want to talk, or don’t know how to talk, or maybe every time you do talk, then it ends in conflict and/or feeling very negative. Or maybe a situation or event has happened, causing the breakdown… an uncertainty, a trust or reliant issue perhaps. Perhaps the love is still there, like a parent and child, but the situation is hard to love.

Coming into therapy is not about resolving all conflicts because that is impossible. It’s about creating a space to explore each-others internal thoughts. When one is talking then the other is actively listening. Conflicts are unavoidable but they can be managed, and when managed well then this creates a space for growth and understanding.

My role is to listen to your individual needs and wants, then to facilitate and integrate, understandings and interventions, for better communication and considerations. It’s not about blame… it’s about moving forward together, creating some boundaries and ways of being.

I attained additional training with The Gottman Institute, as their philosophy sits well with my values and experience. I am blessed with opportunities in meeting people and seeing how relationships can end or evolve. When a relationship becomes ‘stuck’, then a third person can help. There will be a change in the way you interact, which in turn will shift the dynamics, and these shifts creates new learnings to progress forward. Whether these are family members or romantic partners, everything is negotiable. In fact, it is only through talking that one can begin to find solutions. Coming into therapy together opens a space to find a solution together. I can help in opening that safe space and find what each really wants.

Sessions are 70 minutes and are £85 online or £90 in person.

Tailored programmes available, enquire here.